Pushing – walking a fine line

In a prior article, I referenced an article written by Kathy Jackson. Kathy discusses her role as a self-defense instructor, and the gravity of that role. And while she might strive to make a fun class and work to see her students enjoy her teaching, she understands there’s something more she must do:

In order to fulfill my most important responsibility to my students, I have to risk pushing them beyond their comfort levels. And I have to do it in a way that will cause them to work harder rather than to shut down. If I’m not willing to take that risk for the sake of my students’ lives, I have no right to call myself a self-defense instructor.

We do this in classes at KR Training, varying the level of “push” depending upon the class. In a class like Basic Pistol 1, for some of the students they are pushing their comfort levels merely by attending class and picking up a gun for the first time, so we instructors don’t need to add push and pressure (just comfort and reassurance). In a class like Defensive Pistol Skills 1, we start to relay the gravity of carrying a gun and what self-defense actually involves, so we have students shoot on a timer and yes there’s some yelling by the instructors to raise the pressure levels (because someone trying to kill you is going to be a pressure-filled event!). Then you get to force-on-force classes, and those have a range of discomfort as well.

I think that’s why some people avoid training, or at least, particular types of training.

I know I’m victim of it. I’m human too. I like comfort. I like known. I don’t like getting my ass kicked, I don’t like the physical pain, I don’t like the ego bruising.

But we don’t get better unless we push ourselves. Heck, the only reason I can squat 300# now is because I pushed myself over my fears, over my discomfort, over my hate of squatting, over my fear of getting hurt, fear of not being able to get back up. I pushed myself, I got better.

Generally we shouldn’t take big leaps: someone that’s never done force-on-force before, even just verbal no-contact role-playing stuff, probably shouldn’t take SouthNarc’s ECQC as a first go. But if the thought of force-on-force is a little scary to you, I urge to to find a “101-level” type of FoF class (e.g. KR Training’s AT-2) and give it a try. I’ve never seen anyone come out of such a class not better for it.

So realize, when your teacher, coach, instructor, whatever pushes you, it’s an attempt to help you get better. If we go too far over the line, it’s not malicious; but do let us know so we can be mindful (because too far will just cause you to shut down and close off to learning). But don’t worry if you feel a little uncomfortable: we all did, we all do, we all will, and we all will grow from it.